I am going sooo crazy. I was hoping this last little Mexico trip would give me some r&r time, but all it did was increase my urgency to get this semester over with! I have missed do much school between Mexico trips and health issues (pneumonia for me, the flu for my daughter) that I have no idea how I'm going to pass my classes this semester. And if I don't pass, I lose my financial aid. And if I lose financial aid, there is no way in hell I can pay for school. And I actually, for the first time, really love my classes. I want to pass so I can move on to the higher level stuff. I actually see graphic design/or photography as a viable career solution, even long-distance after I move to Mexico. I'm just so stressed out. Which, of course, brings on the killer, debilitating migraines. And high levels of anxiety, which in turn, make me not want to leave the house, which in turn, make me miss more school. Ugh.
At least I've joined a gym (finally), and working out does seem to help my mood. And hopefully it will eventually help me get rid of the 60 pounds I've gained since I got pregnant with and gave birth to my daughter. Almost 3 years ago. Yeah...
It doesn't help that I have crazy dreams, like the one I had the other night about my man and some crazy Mexican sancha. At least I kicked some ass in that dream, which would probably never happen in real life. Hopefully I won't have a real-life sancha-ass to kick. Or, I could always pop a cap in Sancha and slap him dow-ow-ow-ow-own... Lol. Good times. Anyway.
And, as ridiculous as this is, I am trying to distract myself by planning our wedding. Which is not going to happen until Fall 2011, or probably later, at the rate my school is going. I am frickin stressing out about a wedding that has not even been officially proposed yet, that is about 2 years away, and am literally losing sleep at night over it. Damn, I'm a nutcase.
And I have 3 pairs of pants and 1 long-sleeve shirt, and no money, and it's starting to get cold here. And Christmas is just around the corner. And I feel bad because I know my man could use some things too, and he's only bringing home $800 pesos a week, and I know he's trying to save up for an engagement ring and Christmas presents. At least in Magdalena, eveyone is broke. 'Cept the mafia, but they don't count.
But I'm done venting (for now ;) ) Tomorrow, I'm back to school, to learn all there is to know about Photoshop, and hopefully, to try to save my grade.
*Much Love*
Monday, November 30, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Back To Reality...
Well, I really haven't been doing too well with keeping up with this blog. Life has been pretty crazy though, what can I say? In any case, I just got back from another trip to Magda, and I swear, I'm not so naive as not to realize that things would be different if I lived there permanantly, but I swear it feels more like home than frickin' M-town. Ugh.
The trip was a spur-of-the-moment thing on Friday, and everything about it was perfect. I was a little nervous because it was the first time I have driven down there in the dark, although I am finally learning to drive "Mexican-style". However, David was able to catch a bus up to Nogales, presumably to drive me back down. However, he decided to drink a bottle of Presidente on the way to meet me, so I kindly declined his gracious offer to chauffeur, figuring that my sucky driving was still less risky than his intoxicated driving.
Huerita was so happy to see her daddy, of of course, the feeling was reciprocated. It always melts my heart to see my two greatest loves together. It also generally makes for some great photo opportunities. Which I love. Cuz' I'm a photo geek.
The trip was a spur-of-the-moment thing on Friday, and everything about it was perfect. I was a little nervous because it was the first time I have driven down there in the dark, although I am finally learning to drive "Mexican-style". However, David was able to catch a bus up to Nogales, presumably to drive me back down. However, he decided to drink a bottle of Presidente on the way to meet me, so I kindly declined his gracious offer to chauffeur, figuring that my sucky driving was still less risky than his intoxicated driving.
Huerita was so happy to see her daddy, of of course, the feeling was reciprocated. It always melts my heart to see my two greatest loves together. It also generally makes for some great photo opportunities. Which I love. Cuz' I'm a photo geek.
Father & Daughter (I swear!)
My two favorite people kicking it in SONORA, fool!
We did the usual; sampling a different local "restaurant" each night, since the apartment he's renting from his parents still doesn't have a fridge or stove, hung out and watched movies, narrowly avoided spats about how I'm raising my daughter ;), etc. We did get to drive part of the way up El Cerro de la Cruz (I think that's what it's called?) and *gasp!* take some pictures. One of his parents' chihuahuas had puppies, and I got to meet the puppy that David chose to keep. He named it Akira, after the Anime. Yes, I know. And I don't even like chihuahuas. But I have to admit, the little guy was cute. And so was the dog, lol.
David &Akira
David @ El Cerro
La Huerita enjoying the chilly Mexican weather
The view from the Cerro
In all, it was a great trip, and just what I needed. I'm seriously on the verge of a nervous breakdown here with school, my daughter, money (or the lack thereof), the holidays coming up... You name it, I'm trippin' about it. But Mexico is kind of like my drug, it slows everything down for me, and relieves me from the burden of reality for a few precious moments. And then comes a 5-hour drive home, and all my worries come rushing back. But that is how it goes.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
5 Years Later...
September 21st was my and Cito's 5th anniversary. I realize that, in the scheme of things, it's really not that long, but considering the things he and I have been through in that short time, it feels like so much longer.
Our options were kind of limited, so we decided to meet up at the border in Nogales (on the Mexico side, of course), and celebrate there. So Huerita was sent off to grandma's house, and I spent half of Saturday driving through the desert, this time with valid vehicle registration ;-) I crossed the border without being stopped, and saw my love waiting on the other side. I quickly gave up the driver's seat as I refuse to drive in Mexico any more than is necessary, and we headed off to explore.
My man and I both have only ever really seen Nogales as we've been passing through, so this was an adventure for both of us. The part of town that I had seen looked fairly Mexican, although there were a few fast food places with signs that shocked me until I started acclimating to prices in pesos. I never expected, however, to see a (huge!) Super Wal Mart right around the corner from street vendors, nor did I anticipate eating our anniversary dinner at Applebee's, but it was cool. We even had the opportunity to watch '¿Qué Pasó Ayer?' (The Hangover) at the Cinépolis and it was in English with Spanish subtitles.
We found a nice hotel, the Hotel Fray Marcos de Nizo, right next to the border. I was pleasantly surpised by our room, and even more so by the price. It was $600 pesos/night, which came out to $55 USD, which was much better than the $90 that Fiesta Inn was quoting. We even had free wifi, and as my man was excited to learn, we also had hot water in the showers. Oh, I ask myself, what am I getting into? Will I, too, one day be grateful for hot showers? Is that a bad thing? (I always wonder how the hell they do it in the winter)
So, anyways, we had a great time- I brought a big bottle of Hennessy, and some recent purchases from Frederick's, and a new going-out outfit (complete with some killer heels!), and we really had a blast. It's the first time we'd been together without my daughter since he went down there in June, so it was some much-needed quality time together. The fight was on in the bar downstairs (and every other bar in the neighborhood), there were leftover fiestas in the streets from the celebrations of el 16 de septiembre, and there were more cocteles de elote than we knew what to do with. I guess it's a good thing they don't put nutrition labels on that stuff. I probably don't even want to know... but it's soooo good, and I have yet to find it here in the States.
When all was said and done, we had our tear-filled good-byes at the Tufesa station (I really think Tufesa sounds like an insult <"Ay, mira esa tufesa chingada">), and I sat in the 2 hour line to get back across the border. Fortunately they felt no need to hassle me this time, and asked no questions about why I was there, and thus, I began my 3 1/2 hour journey back home. But ahhhhh, it was so worth it.
Our options were kind of limited, so we decided to meet up at the border in Nogales (on the Mexico side, of course), and celebrate there. So Huerita was sent off to grandma's house, and I spent half of Saturday driving through the desert, this time with valid vehicle registration ;-) I crossed the border without being stopped, and saw my love waiting on the other side. I quickly gave up the driver's seat as I refuse to drive in Mexico any more than is necessary, and we headed off to explore.
My man and I both have only ever really seen Nogales as we've been passing through, so this was an adventure for both of us. The part of town that I had seen looked fairly Mexican, although there were a few fast food places with signs that shocked me until I started acclimating to prices in pesos. I never expected, however, to see a (huge!) Super Wal Mart right around the corner from street vendors, nor did I anticipate eating our anniversary dinner at Applebee's, but it was cool. We even had the opportunity to watch '¿Qué Pasó Ayer?' (The Hangover) at the Cinépolis and it was in English with Spanish subtitles.
We found a nice hotel, the Hotel Fray Marcos de Nizo, right next to the border. I was pleasantly surpised by our room, and even more so by the price. It was $600 pesos/night, which came out to $55 USD, which was much better than the $90 that Fiesta Inn was quoting. We even had free wifi, and as my man was excited to learn, we also had hot water in the showers. Oh, I ask myself, what am I getting into? Will I, too, one day be grateful for hot showers? Is that a bad thing? (I always wonder how the hell they do it in the winter)
So, anyways, we had a great time- I brought a big bottle of Hennessy, and some recent purchases from Frederick's, and a new going-out outfit (complete with some killer heels!), and we really had a blast. It's the first time we'd been together without my daughter since he went down there in June, so it was some much-needed quality time together. The fight was on in the bar downstairs (and every other bar in the neighborhood), there were leftover fiestas in the streets from the celebrations of el 16 de septiembre, and there were more cocteles de elote than we knew what to do with. I guess it's a good thing they don't put nutrition labels on that stuff. I probably don't even want to know... but it's soooo good, and I have yet to find it here in the States.
When all was said and done, we had our tear-filled good-byes at the Tufesa station (I really think Tufesa sounds like an insult <"Ay, mira esa tufesa chingada">), and I sat in the 2 hour line to get back across the border. Fortunately they felt no need to hassle me this time, and asked no questions about why I was there, and thus, I began my 3 1/2 hour journey back home. But ahhhhh, it was so worth it.
Amber was the color of my energy...
Nogales @ 5 in the morning, when everyone finally went to sleep
Heroica Nogales, out our hotel window
More of Nogales
Even more...
Our hotel room @ Fray Marcos de Niza
Friday, September 25, 2009
Introductions
Well, I finally caved and decided to try this blog thing. Maybe it'll work out for everyone. I have a feeling it will be therapeutic for me, and possibly even entertaining for a few, and at the very least, in case the deepest fears of my loved ones are realized and I am abducted/caught in drugcartel vs. law enforcement crossfire/forced into sexual slavery, etc on one of my many excursions to Mexico, (yes, just in case) there will be a record of this trying time in my life.
So, here it is:
Me
I'm Jen aka jenadegracia. The user name is a play on words, derived from "llena de gracia", Spanish for "full of grace". Cuz' I damn sure must be full of grace to have made it this far, and even more so to get through this. I kinda got it from the movie "Maria, Llena de Gracia," which is really worth watching, so you should check it out.
I am in my 2nd-ish year at community college, going for a degree in Digital Arts: Digital Photography. A lotta good that's pry gonna do me in Mexico, I know. But hey, at least I have something to fall back on. And maybe it sounds progressive enough for them to issue me and FM3. Who knows.
So what's the deal? Why am I in this predicament? Well, I guess maybe we can thank
Him
The Man. Heretoforth known as D or D-cito, or a variety of other cloying pet names ;-) I've been with him since I was 16. We've been through a lot. A lot. Long story short, he was a permanent resident in the states from age 1 until about 3 months ago... He ran into some trouble. Nothing dangerous, just stupid. One way or another, he became exiled to Mexico. 'Nuff said on that.
I love him. Had our story been a little different, we would have been married by now, but we're not- not legally anyway. We're committed though, and of course, we do have
Her
My baby girl. La Huerita. You have probably never seen a whiter half-Mexican. I know the Mexico we've visited hasn't... She is 2 1/2, and a major handful. And she misses her daddy. And she's probably smarter than I am.
And that's just the beginning... but so is this. I'm just trying to make sense of this mad world, and mentally prepare for my impending move to "the other side". It'll probably be about a year and a half, but who knows. As I know well, life can change in an instant.
So, here it is:
Me
I am in my 2nd-ish year at community college, going for a degree in Digital Arts: Digital Photography. A lotta good that's pry gonna do me in Mexico, I know. But hey, at least I have something to fall back on. And maybe it sounds progressive enough for them to issue me and FM3. Who knows.
So what's the deal? Why am I in this predicament? Well, I guess maybe we can thank
Him
I love him. Had our story been a little different, we would have been married by now, but we're not- not legally anyway. We're committed though, and of course, we do have
Her
And that's just the beginning... but so is this. I'm just trying to make sense of this mad world, and mentally prepare for my impending move to "the other side". It'll probably be about a year and a half, but who knows. As I know well, life can change in an instant.
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